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न जाने क्यों जब भी वो अक्षय के पास होती थी उसके पूरे शरीर में एक सिरहन सी होने लगती थी । उससे बात करते हुये पता नहीं क्यों ठण्ड सी लगने लगती थी उसे ।अक्षय ने कई बार अपनी ये बीमारी अपने मनोचिकित्सक को बताई लेकिन हर |
बार उसे ये ही जवाब मिलता था की उसके सामने स्वेटर पहन कर जाया करो ।हाँ ये वही थी । वो महिला अक्षय के टेबल के ठीक साथ वाले टेबल में कुर्सी पर बैठ गयी ।उसने वेटर को कॉफी का ऑर्डर दिया और वो अपने बैग से एक किताब निकाल कर पढ़ने लगी । शायद उसने अक्षय को देखा नहीं था । उसे देखकर अक्षय फिर से वही यादों के साये में पहुंच गया जिन्हें वो हमेशा भूलना चाहता था । लेकिन आज तक कभी भुला नहीं पाया था । भूलता भी कैसे ये यादें उससे जो जुड़ीं थी जिसे अक्षय ने कभी प्यार किया था । जिसे वो कभी बेइंतहाँ मोहब्बत करता था । ये यादें जुड़ीं थी उस लड़की के साथ जिसने उसे जीना सिखाया था, जिसने उसकी प्रेरणा बनकर उसे आगे बढ़ना सिखाया था । ये यादें जुड़ीं थी उस लड़की से जिसने उसे रोना सिखाया, जिसने उसे लोगों के आगे ये झूठ बोलना सिखाया की वो अब एकदम ठीक है और उसे पूरी तरह से भूल चूका है । ये यादें जुड़ीं थी उस लड़की के साथ जिसने उसे लेखक बनाया था ।
किताब पढ़ते हुये वो उसी किताब में पूरी तरह से खो चुकी थी । अक्षय उसकी नज़रों से बच-बच कर उसे देख रहा था। अक्षय मन ही मन ये सोच रहा था की ये कितनी बदल चुकी है । उसके चेहरे पर हल्की-हल्की झुर्रियाँ आ चुकी थी । उसने एक हल्के भूरे रंग का शाल ओढ़ा हुआ था । कितनी अजीब बात थी जिसे एक बार देखने के लिये अक्षय ने जालंधर जाने का बहाना बनाया था वो उसके सामने थी । उसका दिल कर रहा था की वो उससे बात करे उससे पूछे की वो कैसी है लेकिन अक्षय उससे बात करने की हिम्मत ही नहीं जुटा पा रहा था क्या पता वो उसे पहचाने भी या नहीं । अक्षय को तो ये भी शक था की कही वो कोई और तो नहीं । लेकिन उसे कहीं ना कहीं ये विश्वास हो गया था की ये वही दीपिका है क्योंकि सबका चेहरा भुला जा सकता है लेकिन उसका नहीं जिसे आपने कभी प्यार किया हो जिसे आपने अपना कभी हमदर्द माना हो । काफी देर सोचने के बाद अक्षय ने एक लंबी साँस ली और पूरे आत्म-विश्वास के साथ एक धीमी सी आवाज़ के साथ उसकी तरफ मुड़कर उसे कहा :
“दीपिका….”
ये सुनकर उसने अक्षय की तरफ एकदम से देखा और फिर वो उसकी तरफ देखती ही रह गयी । शायद वो अक्षय को पहचान चुकी थी । हाँ दीपिका ये वही अक्षय है । उस वक्त वो जिस तरह से उसकी तरफ देख रही थी काश मैं उसे शब्दों में बयान कर पाता । उसकी आखें मानो कह रही हो कि अक्षय मैं कबसे तुम्हे ही ढूँढ रही थी उसके होंठ मानो कहना चाह रहे हो कि तुम कहाँ चले गये थे मैं तुमसे बहुत नाराज़ हूँ ना कभी कोई फोन ना कोई तुम्हारा अता ना पता । उसके बालों में हल्के कर्ल्स मानो ये कह रहे हो कि देखो आप ये ही चाहते थे ना की मैं अपने बाल कर्ल्स करवाउं लो अब करवा लिये सिर्फ और सिर्फ तुम्हारे लिये । आह दीपिका अक्षय ने अपनी पूरी ज़िंदगी गुज़ार दी तुम्हारे बालों में ये कर्ल्स देखने के लिये । इस इतने से वक्त में ना जाने क्या क्या सोच लिया था अक्षय ने आखिरकार वो लेखक जो था । लेकिन उसे ये पता था की ऐसा कुछ नहीं था उसकी दीपिका ( उसकी कहने का अब कोई मतलब नहीं था लेकिन फिर भी दिल नहीं मानता ) की अब शादी हो चुकी थी और अब तो उसके 2-3 बच्चे भी हो गये होंगे वो भी अब काफी बड़े हो गये होंगे । जब अक्षय नया-नया न्यूयॉर्क गया था तब उसके कुछ साल बाद उसे दीपिका कि शादी का कार्ड मिला था जो उसके भाई ने उसे भेजा था । लेकिन अक्षय ने वहाँ जाना ठीक ना समझा क्योंकि वो नहीं चाहता था कि वो दीपिका कि हँसती – खेलती ज़िंदगी में आये । वो कार्ड आज भी अक्षय के पास था ।
दीपिका ने उसकी तरफ कुछ देर देखते हुये उसे एक हलकी सी थरथराती हुई आवाज़ कहा :
“अक्षय तुम?”
“हाँ दीपिका तुमने मुझे पहचान लिया?” कहते हुये अक्षय अपनी कुर्सी पर से उठकर दीपिका के टेबल की और बढा और दीपिका के सामने की कुर्सी पर बैठ गया ।
तुम्हे कैसे भूल सकती हूँ अक्षय ने ऐसा सोचा लेकिन उसने कहा – “हाँ हाँ क्यों नहीं कैसे हो तुम सॉरी आप?”
“आपसे मिलकर अब कुछ ठीक हूँ” – धीमे से अक्षय ने कहा ।
“क्या?”
“कुछ नहीं बस मैं ठीक हूँ और आप?”
कंट्रोल अक्षय!! अक्षय ने खुद से कहा ।
“मैं भी ठीक हूँ कहाँ हो आप आजकल?”
“न्यूयॉर्क में हूँ में जबसे भारत से गया और आप? मैरी क्रिसमस बाय दी वे” अक्षय ने अपनी घड़ी कि तरफ देखते हुये दीपिका से कहा ।
“ओहह मैरी क्रिसमस... मैं जालंधर में ही रहती हूँ” दीपिका ने कहा ।
तभी वेटर दीपिका के लिये कॉफी ले आया ।
“तुम कुछ लोगे ?” दीपिका ने अक्षय से कहा ।
“नहीं मुझे कुछ नहीं चाहिये”
“ वैसे काफी खुशनसीब हो तुम जो जहां जन्म लिया वही रह रही हो वरना हम जैसे परदेसी तो रहते कहा है और दिल कहीं और के लिये ही तड़पता रहता है” अक्षय ने दीपिका से कहा ।
“हमममम वो तो है” दीपिका ने अपने चेहरे पर एक हल्की सी मुस्कुराहट लाते हुए कहा ।
“वैसे बातें काफी अच्छी कर लेते हो तुम...”
काश दीपिका तुमने अक्षय कि बातों का सही अर्थ कभी समझा होता कि असल में वो तुमसे कहना क्या चाहता था तबसे जब उसने तुम्हे पहली बार देखा था या फिर शायद कहीं ना कहीं वो ही तुम्हें नहीं समझा पाया था ।
“बस वक्त ने सिखा दिया सबकुछ” अक्षय ने कहा । |
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Don’t’ know why, whenever she did approach Akshay, he shivered as if a high voltage current is passing through his veins. With this titillating feelings whenever he tried to talk to her, he felt himself freezing from within. Akshay consulted his psychologist about his |
nervousness but every time he got the same suggestion – to go near her wearing a pullover sweater! Yes. She is the same one. That woman is now sitting on the Chair near the one next to his table. She ordered for a cup of coffee, when the waiter went off her table, she opened her bag and picked up a book. She leisurely leaned back to the chair and started reading the book with a great interest. Perhaps, she did not notice Akshay sitting just near to her. But on noticing her presence here, Akshay again went back to the same shadows of reminiscences, where actually he did not want to go. He had long back closed the doors and windows of those events associated with her. But he could never forget the days and evenings he spent with her, in her arms. How it could have been possible for him to shun her deep thoughts, sweet memories and memoirs so easily, with whom he had immense love and had developed unlimited liking. His thoughts were webbed with such a lady who taught him to live, who had become his inspiration to progress in every sphere of the life. His thoughts were clubbed with such a lady who taught him how to cry, a lady who taught him to lie before others saying that he was ok and that he had forgotten her altogether. The memories of gratitude were bound by her side who made him a writer, and an awesome author.
She drowned herself within the pages of the book she was reading. Akshay frowned, looking at her with timidity, afraid to look in to her sparkling eyes, as if he does not want her to see him. How changed she is! The slight wrinkles on her beautiful dazzling face started showing the signs of a long journey of her life. She had dropped over her bosom a beige color Kashmiri or Pashmani shawl. How strange it was that Akshay wished to go to Jalundhar under the pretext to see the lay. Now she is sitting before him. His heart was pounding. He was thinking to talk to her, wanted to ask her whereabouts, enquire her wellbeing. But he could not get the courage to open the talk. Who knows, if she could recognize him or not. Then again, Akshay was somewhat doubtful about her identify too, though he had somewhere in the core of his heart and mind some sort of surety about her being his Deepika. This is because, he justified and pacified his mind saying that a face whom he loved too much, a face he cherished to look at every moment, could not have been forgotten so quickly as of others, because she was the one much loved by him and she was the one whom he considered to be her associate in sorrows and pains. After a very long perplexing thoughts, Akshay signed, with full spiritual belief he turned to her and in a hushing suppressed tone he called her:
“Deepika ….”
On hearing this, she precipitously looked at Akshay. She looked at him without blinking an eyelid. Thousands of lightning flashed in her eyes and a host of colorful memories crossed her mind. Perhaps she recognized Akshay. Yes, Deepika, this is the same Akshay, your Akshay, dear Deepika. The way she was looking at Akshay, alas! It could have been possible for me to describe in the words. In a moment, thousand words exchanged through the eyes, though the lips were locked and remained silent. She looked agape. The stand still looks described as if she wanted to tell Akshay that since long I am searching you Akshay. Her pulsating lips were as if she wanted tell him that Akshay, where did you go, I am angry with you Akshay, no call from you nor any whereabouts. The color of her hair wanted to tell him that Akshay, did not you were asking me to color hair? Here, they are, I colored them just for you. Ah, Deepika, Akshay have finished all his life to see the color in your hair. In this tiny moment, who knows what else Akshay thought, after all he was a writer. But he knew that nothing as such happened. His Deepika (there is no meaning in saying this still, his mind doesn’t agree with) had got married and now she must be a mom of 2-3 grown up children, by this time. During the early days of Akshay at New York, a few years later he had received her marriage invitation from her brother. But Akshay doesn’t want to go there to intervene in her happy married life. Akshay had the invitation card in his possession even today.
After gazing at Akshay for a while, Deepika in a shivering tone said:
“You …. Akshay ?”
Akshay got up from his chair saying, “Yes Deepika, did you recognize me.” He moved near to the table where Deepika was sitting, and sat in front of Deepika pulling a chair against the table.
How could I forget you, Akshay expected her to say this, but she said- “aye why not? How about you, sorry, thyself?”
“Better I feel, after meeting you” – Akshay said in a soft tone.
“What?”
“Nothing”, yet I am fine, how about you?”
Control Akshay!! Akshay said to himself.
“I too fine, where are you nowadays?”
“Ever since I left India, I have been in New York, - and you?” Merry Christmas, by the way”, looking at his watch, Akshay wished Deepika.
“Oh, Merry Christmas, I am in Jalundhar only,” Deepika said. At that time, the waiter brought coffee for Deepika.
“Would like to have anything?” Deepika asked Akshay.
“No, I don’t want anything.”
“You are so lucky to reside in the same place where you were born, otherwise, a stranger like me, resides somewhere but the mind would be somewhere else pounding for someone,” Akshay said.
“Hmmm…” that is there,” Deepika with a slight smile on her face, said.
“By the way, you speak meaningfully.”
Alas! Deepika, if you could have understood the real meaning of what actually Akshay wanted to tell you, from the moment he saw you for the first time, or it could be that somewhere sometime, he did not understand you properly.
“Just, the time has taught everything,” Akshay said. |